How do we Choose?

Quick quiz:  What is coaching?  Okay; too broad?  Try this question: what is the purpose of coaching?  The purpose of coaching is to bring awareness to the choices you make and the choices you  have in order to get what you want in your business and your life.  When you hire a performance coach it will be with a goal – more income, better communication, a bigger client base, life balance.  Whatever that goal is, your coach will help you figure out how to get there.  And the way she will do that is through questions and exercises designed to expand your awareness of your own behaviors, actions, thoughts and beliefs.  Once you become aware of what you are doing that is not working to move you toward your goals, you can then make different choices, develop new behaviors and habits and learn how to move more easily and purposefully toward your goals.

The visual I like for this model of coaching is the iceberg.

As we know, the iceberg is about 10% above the waterline.  The iceberg is a great metaphor for how we make decisions.  The iceberg in its entirety represents your mind and the way you choose.  We choose either above the waterline (consciously) or below the waterline (unconsciously).  Above the waterline, I say to my boss, “I will be at work by 8:30 am.”  Above the waterline, I set my alarm clock for 7 am so I can leave by 8 am and be on time.  Below the waterline, after getting up at 7 am, I get into a very interesting conversation with my daughter or my husband, or I get hooked watching a story on CNN; I forget about the time; I do not leave at 8 am; and I am late for work.  These are choices I make unconsciously.  In this scenario, I don’t say “now I am going to talk to my daughter and choose to forget the time and be late for work.”  Through coaching, you begin to look at these unconscious choices and learn about yourself, things like, “Oh, I get sucked into interesting things in the morning and I forget the time.”  Once you know that, you have lowered the waterline a bit.  Now you can say, “Knowing that, I need to put up a reminder to myself and set an alarm on my phone and ask my family to remind me that I am leaving at 8 am.


If you like this blog, click here and sign up for our newsletter where major blogs are delivered to your inbox every 6 – 8 weeks:

About the Author

Picture of Cami McLaren

Cami McLaren

is the owner of McLaren Coaching. She has been coaching professionals and leaders since early 2008. She runs Transformative Coaching Essentials, a coach training program that produces first rate Professional Coaches and "Coach-Style Leaders." She coaches individually and works with organizations to improve communication, time management, productivity and ultimately bring greater results.

Get Our Newsletter
Recent Posts

Thoughts and Feelings

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” -William James This is a lesson I learn over and over again. We have choice in what we decide to think about. Is this a radical notion to you? Or just...

Read More
Ranger Kielak

Coach Highlight – Ranger Kielak

CM: Why did you enter TCE? And/or, what did you want to get out of it? RK: I entered TCE because I saw how valuable it was to be coached by a current student in the course. I saw my relationship improve, my mindset shift...

Read More
McLaren Coaching | Take A Break

Take A Break

I love this quote by Annie Lamott. Not just because I love Annie Lamott so much, but also because it’s just so true. When my printer doesn’t work, I unplug it. When my zoom doesn’t work, I log out and back in. This works 90%...

Read More

Coach Highlight – Sylvia Fox

CM: Why did you enter TCE? And/or, what did you want to get out of it? SF: I made the decision to join TCE to learn more about myself and show up differently in my relationships, especially with my family. I knew two friends who...

Read More

Share this Post