REASONS FOR GIVING FEEDBACK
So far I have been blogging about asking for and receiving feedback. Next we will examine how to give useful feedback. Before we do that, though, we need to look at reasons to give feedback, both valid reasons and reasons that don’t really work.
There are various reasons for offering feedback, but only some are valid reasons to actually deliver feedback. The first and most important step in giving feedback is to ask yourself why you want to give it.
Appropriate/useful reasons to give feedback:
• I see something in you and your behavior that I don’t think you see; and
• I do not have any energy or judgment about it; and
• I want to contribute to you by telling you what I see.
–OR—
• We are working together as a team and what you are doing seems to be creating a result that we as a team don’t want (ex: you are late to all our meetings).
–OR—
• You are not meeting performance standards and I, as your manager, want to provide you with specifics of where you are not meeting standards so we can discuss and you can improve.
Non-Useful reasons to give feedback:
• I see something in you that I find annoying, stupid or irritating; and
• I want to tell you so you will change; and
• I will feel better because you will be different.
–OR—
• Your behavior is so upsetting to me that I want to make you feel bad about it.
–OR—
• For whatever reason, I think you should change and be a different person.
–OR—
• I think you should do things how I want them done.
You may laugh, but the non-useful reasons to give feedback are probably 90% of the time why we give feedback.
Next week’s blog will go into how to give effective feedback, assuming you have checked your motives and still feel it is appropriate and useful
