Communication Breakdowns, Part I

Dealing With Communication Breakdowns

Part I:  Communication and Fear

One of the main things people come to coaching for is better communication.  They may have other results they desire, but it turns out most of the things we want are in some way predicated on communication.

So when my client comes to me and says, “I really want to be home with my son more,” I ask him what has he tried?  He tells me the story of how his wife wants to work more and he wants to stay home more, but he needs his job and there is just no answer.  I say, “Have you asked your boss if you can change your hours?”  And he says, “No.”  I ask why he hasn’t.  He has a hard time articulating, as if talking to her has never crossed his mind.  “What do you think would happen if you approached her?”  And he says, “I can’t do that.”  Again, I ask him why he feels he can’t.

This is the place where coaching comes in.  Why are you doing the things you are doing?  Why are you not doing the things you are not doing?  What is your level of awareness?  What things remain impossible for you because you have not considered them?  Coaching is useful because it invites you to look at things you have not before.  The human brain is tricky.  It will often not even consider something that it fears.  He may not end up talking to his boss, but there is value in at least examining what he is afraid of.

The question, “Why have you not talked to this person?” is a useful one.  What is the fear?  What have you made up?  And why?

This is a series on communication breakdowns, how to recognize them and how to resolve them.

We will break it into sections and offer you some homework at the end of each section.  For this next couple weeks, your homework is to make a list of all the conversations you are not having: people you are not having honest conversations with because you are upset with them, people you are not talking to who might be able to help you solve something, people you think you “can’t” talk to.  The objective is to raise your awareness, to start to notice who and what you are avoiding.  Just notice.

In two weeks, I will post part II: what are communication breakdowns and how do they arise?

Transformative Coaching Essentials 2020 starts in January!

Whether you want to examine a career in Professional Coaching, become a more effective manager, or parent more mindfully, these skills are immensely useful in all areas of life. Check it out:

From a current coach-trainee:  I decided to take McLaren Coaching’s coach training (Transformative Coaching Essentials) because I wanted to make a difference in the world by learning learn how to facilitate people transforming their lives – at any age. In the process, I transformed my own life. And discovered my destiny to BE a Dynamic Aging Coach.

–Joan Virginia Allen, Retired Elder Law and Estate-Planning Attorney, co-author of book Dynamic Aging: Simple Steps to Whole Body Mobility, Author of   Dynamicaging4Life blog, Restorative Exercise Specialist, and certified professional Dynamic Aging Coach.

Transformative Coaching Essentials

Class of 2019

Email me to learn more.  We have 3 spaces left for 2020!

About the Author

Cami McLaren

Cami McLaren

is the owner of McLaren Coaching. She has been coaching attorneys and management since early 2008. She wrote a book, published by the American Bar Association, "Coaching for Attorneys: Improving Productivity and Achieving Balance." She coaches attorneys and managers one-on-one, and provides in-house training designed to improve productivity and bring accountability to the organization.

Subscribe To Our Blog
Recent Posts

Intention as a Game Changer

Game Changer: Using Coaching to Level Up!  April 13 is the final in our series on “What is Coaching?” The tool this month is intention!  Email me to sign up. (Short, affordable, powerful!) Game Changer What is a “game changer?” The dictionary says it is,...

Read More

PSA: What is a Professional Coach, Really?

Professional coaching is a rapidly growing industry.  It is gaining in credibility.  Coaching is remarkably effective and utilized in the biggest organizations and by the most successful professionals.  And yet… What is it? When I use the word “coach,” what do you hear? It has...

Read More

Age is Just a Number

Last week, one of my favorite coaches (who happens also to be my mom!) was interviewed for the Washington Post. Such an inspiring article on living in purpose throughout our lives! If you are interested in learning more about the coaching skill set, join us on...

Read More

Coaching as a Game Changer – Tip #4

Act With Intention Next in our ongoing series on ways of BEING coach, we have Tip #4 — act with intention!  Intention is deliberate, magical and in some ways invisible.  But there is also a very practical component to it.  Here is the formula we teach our...

Read More

Share this Post

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on email