Building Trust and Effective Feedback: Insights from Transformative Coaching Essentials
This past weekend, we examined the foundations of a safe and effective coaching relationship. It was a transformative experience that underscored the importance of trust and feedback in fostering growth. Here’s what we learned:
The Essence of Trust
Our discussions centered around trust—its significance, how it’s built, and how it can be broken.
We talked about trust as a process and not a destination. It is like riding a bike. One must balance and correct from moment to moment in order to stay upright. One does not arrive at a state of balance and stop. You’d fall over!
We also considered that the coaching view of trust is a bit different than how trust is generally seen in the world. (Below.)
We explored several key questions:
- How is trust built? While many people feel that to build trust takes time and reliability and that people are either “trustworthy” or they are not, from a coaching and relationship perspective, we believe trust is built in different ways for different people. Trust is a much more malleable concept that requires ongoing care and attention.
- How is trust broken? We examined situations where breaches occur and discussed that different types of breaches will affect different people in different ways.
- Is trust built and broken in the same ways for the same people? This led us to consider that trust is subjective. Each individual has unique experiences and triggers that influence their perception of trustworthiness. It is a person’s impact and not their intention that builds or breaks trust.
- The spectrum of trust: We also discussed the varied ways individuals experience trust. Some may feel it through vulnerability and openness, while others may seek it through demonstrated competence. Recognizing these differences can help us tailor our approach to each client.
- Consequences of trust: Finally, we examined the profound impact of trust (or the lack thereof) on personal and professional relationships. Trust can empower individuals, leading to openness and growth, while its absence can create barriers and hinder progress. A coaching relationship thrives on trust. Clients make themselves vulnerable in the relationship through self-examination and telling the truth about their inner experiences. They make themselves vulnerable by taking on tasks they normally would not. For all this vulnerability, a solid and trusting relationship is required.
The Power of Effective Feedback
Next, we turned our attention to feedback—a vital tool in any coaching scenario. Here’s what we learned about delivering feedback that truly empowers:
What is effective feedback? It is not opinion-based. Many people use “feedback” to deliver criticism. This is not feedback in the coaching definition. Feedback for us is factual, specific and observable. It is neutral, just information. It serves as a mirror so the client can see their blind spots. It is non-judgmental and delivered to support growth. We operate on the premise that people cannot see themselves and the coach’s job is to offer their observations so clients get a fuller picture of their behavior, attitudes, beliefs and how these might be affecting their results.
Conclusion
Weekend 3 was based on the idea that we create our relationships through intention. By fostering trust and delivering thoughtful feedback, we can create a safe environment that encourages growth and empowers individuals to learn and to get what they most want.
Click here if you want to read what we did in Week 2 of Transformative Coaching Essentials
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