How to Give Feedback, Part IV

 

This blog series is on how to give useful feedback. We are working through the following model. Because feedback is just information, this model is called INFO:

Inquire: The first step always is to find out if your feedback is wanted.Info

Neutral: Next, ask yourself why you are offering feedback and make sure your motivation is to convey useful information, and not to be vindictive or judgmental. (See prior blog [http://www.mclarencoaching.com/are-you-ready-to-give-feedback/] for useful and non-useful reasons for giving feedback.)

Factual: While opinion feedback can be useful in some situations, to have it be effective and neutral, be sure your feedback is factual.

Observable: Finally, feedback should be on something that you have observed and not something that you have heard about or imagine may have happened.

Today’s blog is on the fourth element, “observable.”

4. Observable – This is also a very important element. Do not offer hearsay as feedback. Do not say, “you were late 3 times this week,” unless you actually have firsthand information that the person was in fact late 3 times this week.

Why is hearsay excluded at trial? Because it is unreliable. Why is gossip so damaging? In part because it is also unreliable. The most reliable evidence of anything is direct observation.

If, for example, an employee comes to you and says, “John is a negative person and his attitude is bad for morale,” you should take that as a sign to investigate. Watch John and see what you think of his attitude. Maybe even talk to other people – don’t tell them what you have heard (again, gossip is not reliable), but ask questions to gain more facts.

Then, you might go to John and tell him what you have observed. In this case, I would direct you back to step #3. Do not offer characterizations or opinions about John, such as “you are a negative person.” Not only is that your opinion, but will likely cause defensiveness in John. You can say,

“I notice that sometimes you seem to have a tone with people. It’s hard for me to describe, but you sound critical in your tone of voice. I also have observed that you told three different people today that their work was not meeting your standards, but you did not tell them how to improve and you said things like, ‘you failed at this again’ and ‘you always do this wrong.’ I notice that over this last week I have not heard you tell people what they are doing right. You may be doing it, but I am not hearing it.”

Note how in this example, you are only reporting what you have heard and seen. John cannot dispute this and so it will be more credible for him. And you are not characterizing him as “negative” so you are being neutral (step 2) which will help him be more open to your feedback.

So now you have the whole model. Go try it. See what happens.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

About the Author

Picture of Cami McLaren

Cami McLaren

is the owner of McLaren Coaching. She has been coaching professionals and leaders since early 2008. She runs Transformative Coaching Essentials, a coach training program that produces first rate Professional Coaches and "Coach-Style Leaders." She coaches individually and works with organizations to improve communication, time management, productivity and ultimately bring greater results.

Get Our Newsletter
Recent Posts
The Importance of Debriefing

The Importance of Debriefing

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein Do you ever feel like you are running from one thing to the next? The list of reasons this might not be fun or effective is long, but...

Read More
Weekend 1 at Transformative Coaching Essentials

Weekend 2 of Transformative Coaching Essentials 2024

During the second weekend of Transformative Coaching Essentials (TCE), participants explored core challenges that impede goal achievement. The focus was on identifying barriers, overcoming them, and taking full ownership of our desires—crucial steps for both personal growth and client coaching. Here’s a summary of key...

Read More
Paul-Briley, Off the Comma

Coach Highlight – Paul Briley

CM: When did you complete the Transformative Coaching Essentials program and what are some of the most valuable things you got out of it? PB: I completed the 2021 cohort in the summer of 2022. It was one of the deepest development experiences of my...

Read More
It's October!

October Themes & Observances

Below you will find a wide range of important social, cultural and awareness topics that are highlighted throughout October. Click any illustration to enlarge it.

Read More

Share this Post

Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
Email