Whether you’re a business leader, a team member, a parent or a partner, actively seeking feedback can provide insights that help you get what you want. There is a principle in coaching that people are blind to how they show up in the world. If you want change, you need to find out how you are coming across.
Why Soliciting Feedback is Essential
- Provides External Perspectives: While self-reflection is invaluable (see last month’s blog post on debriefing), feedback offers an external view of you that you might not see on your own. It highlights how others perceive your work, which can reveal blind spots and areas for improvement that you might not be aware of. Just as you cannot see the back of yourself without aid, there are so many aspects of ourselves and our behavior that we are blind to.
- Promotes Accountability and Growth: Seeking out feedback is a great way to see where the holes are and make the changes needed to meet your goals.
- Strengthens Relationships and Fosters a Culture of Honesty and Information: Seeking out feedback demonstrates a commitment to personal and professional growth. It shows that you value others’ opinions and are willing to make changes to improve your performance. This fosters a culture (whether at work or home) where others can see the value in seeking honest thoughts and observations about their performance or ways of being; and have the courage to ask!Soliciting feedback can enhance relationships with co-workers, clients and personal relationships. It opens lines of communication and leads to more collaborative and effective working relationships. Imagine the power, if you are a supervisor, of asking employees – “how am I doing?” Or, if you are a parent, of asking a child, “what would you like me to know about X?
How to Effectively Solicit Feedback
- Ask Specific Open-Ended Questions: When asking for feedback, be clear about what you want to know. You might ask, “How did I do?” Or you might ask specific questions such as, “How can I improve my presentation skills?” or “What aspects of my project management could be more effective?” You might ask, “what about this worked well for you? What did not work well?” Avoid questions like, “Would you refer me?” The closed-ended question will not garner the information you need.
- Choose the Right Time and Place: Request feedback in a setting where the other person feels comfortable and has the time to provide thoughtful responses. Ensure the context supports a candid and constructive discussion. Create a setting of safety. It is scary for most people to offer what is considered “constructive” feedback. Let them know you want it and would be grateful to receive it.
- Be Open and Receptive: Approach feedback with an open mind. Listen actively, avoid becoming defensive, and appreciate the perspective being shared. Remember, feedback is a tool for growth, not a personal critique. Feedback is information that you need.
- Act on the Feedback if Possible and Appropriate: Use the insights you gain from feedback. While you do not need to change something just because someone suggests it, if you feel it’s best to make the change, tell the person that you did. If not, still give it full consideration and let the person know you did that!
- Regularly Seek Feedback: Make feedback a regular part of your routine, not just something you seek during performance reviews or major projects. Regularly requesting feedback ensures you stay on track to your goals. Think of it like the white line on the highway. You need to look at it continuously and not just when you are swerving off the road.
Conclusion
Soliciting feedback can be scary. And is vital to success in every area of life. It provides external perspectives and it lets you know how you are coming across to people. It also encourages others to seek and be more open to the information they need to grow, thereby shifting the culture!
