Your Beliefs are Stopping You

Recently my coaching group decided to look at ways in which their beliefs were keeping them from having the businesses they want.  I said to them, “you have what you believe you can have.”  A bold statement, it seemed to me, even as I heard it come out of my mouth.  I was reminded of Napolean Hill who a long time ago interviewed the most successful people of his time, and came up with some premises upon which most wealthy business owners operated.  One of them was, “If you can believe it and conceive it, you can achieve it.”

Why?  We tend to do what we believe we can do.  We tend not to even attempt things that we do not believe we can do.  If you believe skydiving is fatal, you probably won’t do it.  If you believe homeschooling your children would be too much work, you won’t try it.  If you believe two dogs could never get along in the same house, you will only have one dog.skydiving

There is a useful model called “behavior follows belief.”  It is a circular model and it asserts that your behavior will always be in alignment with your beliefs AND that the results of your behavior will typically support your beliefs. 

So you see that because we so rarely act outside of our beliefs we continue to make them true.  We reinforce them on a daily basis.  If I believe I only have energy to work 8 hours in a day, then at the end of 8 hours, I’ll go home.  I will not be able to see if I do sometimes have more energy.  If I believe it’s hard to get clients, it will be hard for me to get clients, and I will not even see it if it is ever easy.  I will also act in ways that make it hard. 

Most of what we do in life is designed, though often unconsciously, to show we are right about our beliefs.  And as you can see by these examples, our beliefs also limit what we can SEE.  You will not look for what you do not believe is there.  But always more is there than you are seeing.

So when you are stuck, you can ask, “What belief is driving my behavior right now?”  If you are having difficulty bringing in new business, you might ask, “What do I believe is the right or best way to bring in new business?”

If you are having a hard time getting cooperation from your children, you might ask, “What do I believe are the right ways to interact with children?”

A belief is just a thought you think over and over.  A belief may be true – the sun rises in the East.  Or it may not be.  Challenge yours.  See what changes.


About the Author

Cami McLaren

Cami McLaren

is the owner of McLaren Coaching. She has been coaching professionals and leaders since early 2008. She runs Transformative Coaching Essentials, a coach training program that produces first rate Professional Coaches and "Coach-Style Leaders." She coaches individually and works with organizations to improve communication, time management, productivity and ultimately bring greater results.

Get Our Newsletter
Recent Posts
Kid basketball thermos graphic

What Does it Mean to be Committed to a Relationship?

The Commitment Pillar The 3 basic pillars of a strong relationship are trust, communication and commitment.  (Thanks to Source Point Training for this model.)  Today I am writing about the commitment pillar. In our program training coaches and coach-style leaders (, we work on how to be effective in relationships...

Read More
Why Image

Purpose is More Powerful Than Motivation

Purpose This month I am talking about purpose. What’s Your Why Kevin Durant Motivational – YouTube One of my favorite speakers on this topic is Eric Thomas – an amazing motivational speaker. Motivation is a funny thing. Often we think it is this “feeling” that...

Read More
Boy yelling into microphone using his voice

The Sound of Your Voice

Hup, Hup I was in spin class with Dakota. Such an inspiring human. She says so many things to us that I want to write down. I took note of this one though. She told a story about talking to two different riders one day....

Read More
Mirror held in hand - Feedback

Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, Mirror Once I was sitting in a meeting with a lawyer. When I looked at him, I realized he had spilled coffee on his shirt. No one said anything. I wonder if he saw it in the mirror later. I wonder how he felt...

Read More

Share this Post