This post is in honor of my clients, past, present and future. So that you know I know how tough it can be to be striving toward your deepest desires. So that you know how honored I am to be a part of that.
I am reading the book, Daring Greatly, by Brene Brown. I came across a research question she asked that reminds me so much of my clients – people who decide they want something different and commit to getting it.
Why is it so rare that people commit to making change? Because it is hard; it is scary; it is easier to stay where you are. There; I’ve said it. Humans have a tendency to stay in comfort. So any time you set a goal, hire a coach or decide things will be different you must go outside that comfort zone. The reason my job is so satisfying is I get to be with people who are actively reaching outside their comfort zones – always. It wouldn’t be coaching if it didn’t involve discomfort. I am honored and humbled to be trusted to stand with my clients on that journey.
The research question that Brown asked was “how does vulnerability feel?” Reaching for that thing you want is vulnerable. Indeed, the point of Brown’s book is that we must, in business, life, everywhere, be willing to be vulnerable in order to make change, connect with others and have what we say we want. Being vulnerable is reaching and stretching, feeling unprotected, being uncertain, and moving forward anyway. It takes courage to do this. Often when people decide to make change and set off down that path, they criticize themselves for not being stronger, faster, better. But I say NO. Recognize how brave you are for taking the steps you do. And I hope that reading other people’s answers to these questions will let you know that you are in the right place.
Some of the answers to her question are below. These answers illustrate what it feels like to commit and put everything you have on the line for what you say you want – whether that is better health, more money, better communication with your spouse and children, to grow your business, whatever it is.
• It’s where courage and fear meet.
• You are halfway across a tightrope, and moving forward and going back are both just as scary.
• Sweaty palms and a racing heart.
• Scary and exciting; terrifying and hopeful.
• Taking off a straitjacket.
• Going out on a limb—a very, very high limb.
• Taking the first step toward what you fear the most.
• Being all in.
• It feels so awkward and scary, but it makes me human and alive.
• A lump in my throat and a knot in my chest.
• The terrifying point on a roller coaster when you’re about to tip over the edge and take the plunge.
• Freedom and liberation.
• Panic, anxiety, fear, and hysteria, followed by freedom, pride, and amazement—then a little more panic.
• It feels like free-falling.
• Letting go of control.
So here’s to you — out there on the skinny limb, risking, growing, changing, achieving, stretching….living.