“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
― Anne Lamott
In my life, it’s taken me so long to understand what this really means. What does it mean to reset?
I am aware that a weekend off can refresh me. But I have to be very mindful of what I do and if it is actually refreshing. Sometimes it is FUN, but I’m tired afterward.
I am aware that watching a favorite show at night is refreshing, but if I stay too long, I don’t feel good the next day.
It’s so much about awareness and paying attention to the reset that I need.
I used to hear people say, “I need to take a break and just do nothing.” But what is the “nothing” that works for them? Sitting in the yard? Talking to friends? Gardening? It’s really important to know.
Recently, I have found two new things that work for me. In the middle of the work day.
First, I can tell if I start getting annoyed by my email that I need a certain kind of a break. Really it’s a break from communication. Another way to say it is I recognize I am getting caught in my head and telling stories about what I perceive people to be doing or to be wanting from me. Lots of it is not true. Just my internal voices. So now what I do is I step away from all people-oriented communication for awhile. Close my email. Put my phone on DND. I work inside an imaginary bubble of silence and peace.
While sometimes it is valuable for me to stop working entirely, I’ve learned that when this one form of irritation occurs, that is not what I need. I just need to stop peopling. I need to be with myself and my work. Sometimes yes, I need a walk or a nap. But more than anything I need to stop instigating my internal critical voices with written communication.
It took a lot of self-observation (coaching helped!) to learn this.
Here’s the second kinda mind-blowing thing I learned. I first learned this from Frank Ostaseski, who wrote The Five Invitations: “find a place of rest in the middle of things.” I’ve always seen breaks as big stops – like a vacation or a weekend. At the very least, stopping for the day. But he has a different idea:
We often think of rest as something that will come to us when everything else in our lives is complete: at the end of the day, when we take a bath; once we go on holiday or get through all our to-do lists. We imagine that we can only find rest by changing our circumstances.
…
This place of rest is always available to us….It is experienced when we bring our full attention, without distraction, to this moment. To this activity. With sincere practice, after some time, we can come to know this spaciousness as a regular part of our lives.”
What I have done with this information is stop periodically and focus on my breath. Or focus on something in the room. Or even on the thing I am now looking at. I ask myself how I am feeling. I check in with my body, my mind, my emotions. I become present to all of my senses. It really does work as a reset. And, if what I really need is a walk or a nap, this is the moment I discover that.
What are your reset hacks?
